The enemy has no problem with church-players. As a matter of fact, his interest lies in God’s people being very religious and hypocritical about the church. Christianity is not a religion. It’s a life that we live. He is very much okay with hypocritical displays put up by some religious folks. True Christianity is practiced in the home/family. If Christianity is not practiced in the home/family, it is dead. We are on the last day where even pastors are divorcing.
Two people can enjoy relationship at the boyfriend and girlfriend level but cease to enjoy relationship when they get married. The serpent in Genesis is still around. Reference was made to it in the book of Revelation. His aim is to make sure there is no peace at homes.
There are lots of things that bring problems in the family. A few of them include; financial incapacitation, sexual dissatisfaction, sin, interference by in-laws, lack of communication, and lots more. The devil uses these mediums to sneak into families and cause problems. Some couples are the best couples in church but the worst couples at home.
Some husbands neglect their duties in the family. Some of the wives need to know their responsibilities and face it. Bitterness is one of the worst problems in the family. It can affect every other thing. Some aggressions spouses unleash on each other are transferred aggression.
SOLUTIONS TO MARITAL PROBLEMS USING THE ACRONYM “SMILES”
- SALVATION OF THE ENTIRE FAMILY: Abraham for instance, had many marital problems. Sarah was quarrelsome and proud. Hagar came into the picture and worsened things with the birth of Ismael. All sorts of marital problems could be seen in the house of Abraham. But the God of all flesh granted them a solution in Genesis 16 where they started fighting because of Ismael. God asked for everyone in his house to be circumcised.
To be circumcised is to be born-again. To the women, you don’t solve marital problems by fighting your backsliding husband. You don’t also solve marital problems by trying to change a backsliding husband. Don’t try to make him get rid of his mistress because if he gets rid of the present mistress, he will go for another one.
You can never succeed solving family problems in the flesh. If your husband is living in adultery, what you need to do as a godly wife is not to battle his mistresses or nag at your husband, or cook him good meals, or even try to change him. Only God can change people. If your spouse is not born-again or is a backslider, the best thing you can do for him is to be compassionate towards him or her, and pray for him or her to be saved or revived as if you are on evangelism.
Your mission field is your house. If your spouse is a backslider, what you need to do is to pray for him or her to have an encounter with Jesus. There is no family without marital attacks from the devil. Even the family of Jesus had issues. Joseph wanted to divorce Mary secretly. But Mary didn’t go around reporting Joseph to her relatives and all that. Instead, she went to Elizabeth and entered into deep sessions of prayers to save her family.
You must engage God in the place of prayer for the salvation of your family. Everyone in your house should be born-again; starting from your spouse to you children, your maids, and every other person in the house. You can’t solve your family problem. Only God can. Acts 16:31 – Your salvation is for you and your household.
If everyone in a family is born-again, the family will be happy. If you are born-again, every member of your household should be born-again too. After being born-again, think about the salvation of your family. You achieve this by praying for every one of them to be saved. It is in vain to battle in the flesh.
- MONETARY SACRIFICE; If your family problem has to do with money, the best way to deal with that problem is to make yourself a giver. Monetary sacrifice should be a priority to you. A couple shouldn’t come to church to vow to give a huge amount of money when he or she is not practicing generosity at the family level.
The day you make yourself a blessing and a burden bearer is the day sickness will leave your body. It is more blessed to give than to receive. Scriptures recommend that the husband should be the provider in the family. A woman is not meant to work too hard. That is the reason for the difference in muscles.
As a young single man, you shouldn’t think of marriage until you have been financially settled. A woman is supposed to come into your life to help tend what you have already established. You shouldn’t punish her by making her work your work. Lack of money can make a woman look older than your mother.
That doesn’t suppose that the wives should become lazy and slack in generating revenue for supportive purposes. If your husband is a bread winner, you should be an Akara winner.
As a man, before you start complaining about the slackness of your wife’s physical features, remember that you made her that way. She wasn’t like that when you married her. So it shouldn’t be a problem when those things are no more there. You have had a fair share of it and should be satisfied.
As a man, the lack of money shouldn’t be strong enough to make your wife irritating to you. Your lack of money should not result in the maltreating of your wife. Monetary problems are best handled by unreserved generosity. To the men, endeavor to show appreciation to your wife when she’s generous with you.
- INSIGHT/WISDOM: A wise woman builds a home. A lot of marital problems are as a result of ignorance. That’s why you have to study the bible and gain wisdom. Some Christians are actually divorced for years, even though they are still living together. Do whatever the bible says. Practice it. And it will work for you.
- LOVE AND RESPECT: Without love and respect, there is no marriage. For a marriage to thrive, there must be love and respect. Men, however, do not look for love. What men want is respect. But women look for love. Men should endeavor to love their wives. And love will not allow for you as a man to enjoy sex alone. There will be sexual harmony. You won’t just be on the receiving end. You must also endeavor to give. When you love a woman, she hears it. Give a woman attention and time.
As a woman, you must never take advantage of your husband because he is born-again. Be careful not to threaten to report him to your spiritual parents simply because he’s cool headed and simple. Know that the devil is still around the corner. It will shock you that your gentle and humble husband can become a tyrant tomorrow. Women, beware!!! Respect your husband! And don’t talk to him anyhow.
- EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION: Men, in particular, don’t like to talk. Women don’t like it when men don’t talk. Listen to your wife and heal her wounds. Some of the things wives do to their husbands are deceits from the devil. If demons manifest here, the women will manifest more than the men. Be patient with your wife, because Satan gets to the men through their wives. Your mother does not love you more than your wife.
- SPIRITUAL WAR AND SEXUAL HARMONY: No matter all said and done, if you don’t discover that you need to fight for your family, you will miss it.
- As a woman, you must work. If the man is the BREADWINNER, you should be the AKARA WINNER.
- Anointing does not solve marital problems. What solves marital problems is wisdom. Read books.
- What men need from women is not LOVE. What men need from women is RESPECT. On the other hand, what women need from men is LOVE.
- If you love a woman, she HEARS IT.
- No matter how spiritual a woman looks, SHE NEEDS HELP!!!
- If you don’t discover that you need to fight for your family, you are in trouble. The marital problems we see in our homes are not the couples’ making. It is the devil’s doing
- You may need to rebuke the devil in your marital bed. Even sexual dissatisfaction can be a demonic manipulation.
- For those contemplating, know that life after divorce is not better.