A man is not a husband because he is a male. A man doesn’t need a wife to be a father. That’s the reason there are men with children without wives. But a man needs a wife to be a husband. God never created anyone a husband. But God can make a man a husband. Husbands are not born. Husbands are made.
If husbands are made, it means that being a husband isn’t a spontaneous thing. It is a process. 1st Peter 3:7 – According to this scripture, the way husbands treat their wives can either facilitate the answers to their prayers or delay it. This is an instruction given to prevent the prayers of husbands from being hindered.
A proper understanding of this portion of the bible will equip a man to lead his wife in accordance to God’s expectation. The way husbands treat their wives has a lot to do with their connectivity to God. A man’s understanding of his wife is what keeps the marriage going, not the other way round.
It is never recorded in the bible that a wife should live with her husband according to knowledge. That is an instruction meant for the husbands specifically. So, God expects husbands to be prayerful. The place of prayer in the home belongs to the husband, not the wife. So a man should never allow his wife to assume the place of prayer in the marriage. That’s inappropriate.
But by reason of the men’s quest for material acquisition, the men have left the place of prayer in the marriage to their wives, thereby putting their wives in the position to God for the family. When this happens, things begin to go wrong in the home because that isn’t God’s plan for marriage. In God’s plan, the man is supposed to be the one to get divine instructions and pass it on to their wives and the rest of the family.
When a wife starts hearing God for her husband, she assumes the position of the leader because, in the Christian setting, the one who hears from God is the leader. So husbands should endeavor to guide the place of prayer and hearing from God jealously. A woman is the weaker vessel in all ramifications and shouldn’t ever take up the responsibility in the marriage which requires the strength of a man.
As a husband, how you live with your wife can either frustrate, strengthen, or encourage your relationship with God. The word of God instructs husbands to live with their wives according to knowledge. It is important for husbands to find out what knowledge the bible is referring to in 1st Peter 3:7. The said knowledge includes the following;
1.A MAN’S WIFE CAME FROM THE MAN: – The origin of a man’s wife is the man. A proper understanding of Genesis 2:21-22 shows that God takes a man’s ribs from a man and locates a woman, and then makes her with the man’s ribs, and brings her to the man. Despite the fact that God can bring a man’s wife from whatever homeland, the divine truth remains that she was made by God for the man whose ribs was taken and used to make her. That is a mystery that even the Apostle Paul could not understand.
This knowledge is particularly meant for the male folks. No man should expect his wife to have this knowledge, as it isn’t expedient of her to have such knowledge. 1st Peter 3:7 says it all. If a man treats his wife as a stranger, she will behave like a stranger. But if a man treats his wife like himself, she will give him the treatment he desires. Never forget that a man’s wife comes from the man. This may not be easily understandable because it is a mystery.
So, husbands should endeavor to understand this mystery, as any mystery that isn’t understood can cause harm. A man’s wife is an extended part of the man. She is her husband’s reflection. Every husband owes his wife his continued prayers till his day of death. Husbands should pray for their wives every day because a man’s wife can either make the man or scatter him. Daily prayers for a wife is essential.
2.GOD GIVES WIVES TO MEN TO HELP YOU BECOME ALL THAT HE CREATED YOU TO BE AND VICE VERSA: – By reason of marriage, God places a man in a position to help his wife achieve all she is purposed to achieve. God also uses the marriage platform to place wives in a position to contribute to a man’s life and help him achieve all that God created the man to be.
For a man to think that a woman is only meant to be at the receiving end is a wrong mentality. Though it is a man’s responsibility to be the provider, it doesn’t necessarily mean that a wife is only a receiver. A husband must make his wife understand that she is also in his life to provide a large degree of help that can’t be provided by any other.
According to Genesis 1:27-28, God created man (male and female man), in his own image, meaning that he created them both with the same capacity. So a wife is as equipped to provide help to her husband as well as a husband is equipped to provide help to his wife. Secondly, that scripture makes known that God blessed them, and declared fruitfulness and multiplication abilities on them. God also commanded them to subdue the earth.
From the above analysis, it can be seen that both parties are well-equipped to satisfy each other on all ramifications. But the mystery remains that God took a rib from a man and used it to create a woman, thereby placing men in the position of leadership, despite their divine equality.
3.LIVE WITH HER ACCORDING TO THE KNOWLEDGE THAT SHE IS A FEMALE: – As a female, a woman’s sexual configuration is prone to hormonal changes that sometimes affect her mannerism. According to Biology, hormonal changes don’t come from the flesh. They come from the brain. Because of this, the state of a woman’s thoughts and reasoning is hugely affected by the said hormonal changes.
So a woman is prone to seemingly poor reasonability as her hormones undergo natural changes. That doesn’t suppose that poor reasonability is a woe of the female folk. It simply means that the hormonal changes that take place in a woman’s body inevitably results in seemingly unlikely attitudinal disorder. The same hormonal changes are responsible for the rapid aging of the female folks. Giving birth to one child is equivalent to a lost life.
But the only thing a man seems to stand to lose is sperm cells, which are back in place after the consumption of just one meal. God made these things this way. And that same God expects husbands to honor their wives despite their mannerism which may not be fantastic in some cases. This is the knowledge and understanding God wants husbands to have in order to pilot marital affairs successfully.
4.A WIFE IS A WEAKER VESSEL: – A woman is more feeble and fragile, and so needs to be valued and honored. Being a weaker vessel doesn’t start and stop with physical strength. It also has to do with the spiritual aspects of life. After Eve’s encounter with the serpent in the Garden of Eden, she got convinced because she lacked the willpower to resist the serpent. So it is expedient of husbands to provide their wives with the needed strength, as not providing this strength will give room for something else to provide that strength.
5.LIVE WITH HER ACCORDING TO THE KNOWLEDGE THAT YOU SHARE THE SAME GRACE WITH YOUR WIFE: – This means that a man’s wife is not inferior to the man, neither is a man inferior to his wife, despite their statuses in life. But then, a man remains the head over his wife to provide leadership, order, and spiritual discipline by example in his relationship with his wife.
CONCLUSION: – Many at times, what men look out for in their wives are ordinary “WANTS” and not “NEEDS.” And the bible categorically states that God supplies “NEEDS” and not “WANTS.” So husbands should pay more attention to needs than wants. Despite a wife’s seeming hotheadedness, deep within the inner crevices of her heart is intense love for her husband. So, any seeming misbehaviors from wives are not consequent upon their lack of love for their husbands.
Since you said that God takes out a man’s rib from a man and makes a wife for him from any homeland, who then is at fault in cases of failed marriages?
A marriage cannot succeed beyond the couples’ level of wisdom and knowledge. In cases of failed marriages, the both parties are at fault.
Though the bible says that wives are weaker vessels, I came to understand that some woman most times overdo unlikely stuff and play down on instructions given to them by their husbands. So a man who doesn’t want to talk on the same issue repeatedly would just let things go. But then, the woman takes advantage of his passivity and tends to want to control everything, and don’t exactly act like the weaker vessels they are said to be. Why does such happen?
A wife’s attempt to dare to assume a position order than that of the weaker vessel and wanting to take the leadership role from her husband may be a result of her husband having given her that leverage at some point, especially in cases where the position of spiritual leadership has been delegated to the woman.
In a situation where a man courts a woman for a short while and doesn’t have enough time to know her well, both parties marry and the woman later starts putting up some sort of attitude that requires the submission of her husband, else, marital catastrophe. For instance, a wife tends to want to call the shots when it comes to deciding which schools the children attend, and the likes, without welcoming any suggestions or counter opinion from her husband. What is to be done in such cases?
No matter how short or long a man courts a woman, when they eventually get married, the woman will only do the things the man allowed her to do during the courtship period. If a woman seeks to attain the leadership position in a marriage, she must have done it during the courtship and the man let her do it. In a situation like that, the only remedy is absolute submission to their spiritual head. A man should endeavor to take the lead right from the courtship level, as everything that happens in a marriage is a carryover from courtship.
All women are stubborn. How should husbands handle stubborn wives?
First of all, that is a fallacy. If a man’s wife is stubborn, the man should be able to say at what point she developed the stubbornness. Her stubbornness could possibly be a reciprocation of a man’s stubbornness. So a husband should be able to trace the genesis of a woman’s stubbornness. That way, the problem of wives’ stubbornness can be addressed.
The bible says a man should not be bitter with his wife. But how can a husband not be bitter with his wife when the woman is not obeying every instruction given to her, possibly because there’s been a disconnection at some point between the two parties.
In such cases, it is important to recall that God is the origin of marriage and the one solely responsible for a man’s union with his wife. A man should never try to fix marital issues by power and might, for by strength shall no man prevail. Going to God in prayer can ease the tension and create room for letting all bitterness out, trashing it, and winning your wife back to yourself.
Never employ a measure that fosters temporal peace in a marriage. Every issue should be duly talked about and done away with.
By dwelling with a wife according to the aforementioned knowledge, won’t that make a man seem like a passive person? For instance, there are certain attributes a wife displays in the marriage, which were never there during the courtship. So on seeing strange attitudes from her in the marriage and trying to stop it, it makes some wives react negatively, refusing to adhere to her husband’s instruction to stop whatever he doesn’t like. But having acquired this knowledge, it wouldn’t be proper for a husband to employ hard means. So, how else are issues like this to be addressed?
There is need to agree on certain vital issues during courtship. Such agreement prevents certain marital issues. In a situation where both parties cross over to marriage without trashing issues that needed to be trashed during courtship, the ultimate need for loving discussions arises. A man should endeavor to talk to his wife lovingly about anything. And with faith in God who founded marriage, such issues can be brought to an end.